dress code: black

ta-daaaaa!!!! i am in indonesia now. landed last thursday and unsurprisingly didn't suffer from jetlag. since i got here, i did not really go out and about, although i did have some chances to see some friends and to attend some events. two of them were being a gathering of fashionesedaily at a mall here in Jakarta on last saturday, and my good friend's wedding on the same day.

the gathering had a dress code of black. so put on this head to toe black outfit with a little touch of red on my lips.

wearing: GAP black tanks || bebe black skirt || h&m black cape || h&m black tulle leggings || guess black boots

did you notice something wrong with the pictures? look closely. my head looks soooo big. okay, i do have a big head but not that big (i think) :D. it's a camera distortion. the photos were taken using a wide lens pocket camera at its widest range of lens. oh well...

by the way, today was the first day of training (which is what I am here for). everything went well, the trainees were all very good to work with. but i still have eight more days to go. hopefully it will go smoothly and wonderfully and be beneficial for the trainees, as well as for me.

good news come when you least expect it!

it's sometimes true, isn't it? and it's my turn to experience it.

i just got back here in NYC around a little over a month ago, but two weeks after i got back here an email landed on my email account. a netherland-based NGO that has been my client since almost a couple of years ago offers me a training job in jakarta. it's actually a continuation of a training i did for them several months back. and of course they will be paying for everything. how could i turn down such offer? a training for a great cause, an opportunity to be in Indonesia again, and a well-paid job *grin*. the training is only for 9 days, but i might as well extend my stay right?! since they will have another training (for their other department) in the coming month as well, and they will for sure want me to do it as well :D.
so, friends in Indonesia (Jakarta to be exact), you'll be seeing me again sometimes soon. very soon.

here i have some photos of me that were taken around a month ago when i went to Boston to visit a friend who resides there and two friends who came all the way from Jakarta to the US. we went to wrentham outlets, where my friends unleashed their shopping craze.

gotta get some dunkin' donuts in Maryland :D




wearing: h&m black shirt || f21 red plaid jacket || h&m black skinny pants || aldo boots || h&m chain necklace

while i am at it, i'd like to apologize to all of you for not being able to visit your blogs. i've been tied up with work. i am working on manual books (yup, not just one but two manuals!) for the training and i am behind the deadline. i seriously couldn't really do anything else but work work and work. i am literally glued to my couch and laptop right now that i don't even have the chance to see the light of day. i promise, once i finish this manuals, i will blog walking again to see y'all.

dance with my father again*

It has been almost a month since I last updated my blog or visited your blogs. Last time I said that I was to the blogsphere in back full force , but turned out I wasn't. I plead guilty to that. I am a repeat offender, since it was not the first time I did this :).

Anyway, yesterday was the 6th year of my beloved father's passing. I thought that I would be at ease after several years. But I wasn't, although it's so much easier than the first three years after he died. I was basically in a constant grieve at that time. I kept looking for an answer if I have made him happy. Every single night I hope he would come to my dream and tell me the answer I was looking for. But for almost three year he never did. But just few days before the 1000th day commemoration of his death (people in Indonesia hold ceremony to send prayer for the dead on 7th day, 40th day, 100th day, 1000th day of the passing) he came to my dream. He didn't say anything, he just smiled. I cried in my dream, and real tear came down my cheek. I woke up soaking wet and cried like I never cry before. I don't believe in dream. I have chosen since a long time ago to believe what Sigmund Freud stated in The Interpretation of Dreams, that dreams were a reflection of human desires and were prompted by external stimuli. But that time I wanted to believe otherwise. I wanted to believe that it was real, not just a reflection of my desire. That he did come to me and talk to me.
For once, I beseech my own permission not to go with my intellectual process of thinking. For once, I wanted to allow myself to believe in my dreams and all the superstitious things that tag along. So I could end the long journey of finding the answer. And I felt content.

Now, although I've accepted the reality that he's not here with us anymore, but I still couldn't help but feeling of loss every time I think about him. I couldn't help but missing him. Yesterday, my two sisters posted childhood photos of us and him on their Facebook. And for the first time I could look at the pictures without feeling sad or grieve. I smiled. A big smile. I cherish the beautiful memories I had with him.

But then I saw my mom's status on her Facebook, how she misses my dad so bad. That really torn me apart....

By the way, my younger sister and I, always pay a visit to Pier 17 every year on the commemoration of my dad's passing and put flower there and my sister would pray. Our father's body was cremated and his ashes were scattered on the sea. So we think it's only appropriate to visit an open water to remember him. Open water connects to each other, right? Today, we went to Pier 17. And I get the chance to have my sisters took some pictures of me.


Here they are

wearing: h&m striped shirt, black shirt, cardigan || F21 black balloon skirt || h&m black leather gloves || unbranded tights || aldo grey buckled boots || kate spade green canvas bag





Dance With My Father - Luther Vandross

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then
Spend me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

Chorus:
If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love to dance with my father again

Verse 2:
When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me(yeah, yeah)
Then finally make me do just what my momma said
Later that night, when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

Chorus:
If I could steal
One final glance
One final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love to dance with my father again

Verse 3:
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
I'd hear how my mother cried for him
(2x) I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she' s dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

i miss my photographer...

I have been here for a week now, still recovering from the jet lag. Well, it wasn't so much of a jet lag, I don't think, but it's kinda a strange change of my sleeping schedule instead. I normally go to bed very late at night (around 3 - 4 am, sometimes even later) and get up late in the morning (like errr....9-ish or 10-ish?!). But since I got here, I get very sleepy when the time is approaching 9 - 10 pm. So I go to bed around that time and get up very early in the morning. Like 5 - 6 am. Crazy, eh? I kinda like it tho. It's such refreshing to get up early, fixing myself a cup of tea, having few strips of bacon and scrambled eggs, sitting on the couch while looking out the window. My kittens would sit around me and I get to pet them, while enjoying the ray of sunlight stroke my skin through the window glass. What a life!

My life is not back to normal yet. I am just lazying around the apartment or going out and about for some fresh air of the city (and some shopping, of course *grin*), as well as spending time with my sister who I haven't seen in a whole year while I was in Jakarta. I was so amazed how a year can bring so much change to a person. My sister cooks now! And she is damn good! Yes, she held a dinner gathering at her apartment last Sunday. She invited some friends over, and she prepared all the meals by herself! I couldn't believe the fact that my little sister cooks. One of the meals she cooked was Indonesian meatballs (Bakso). Oh heaven...that was one of the best bakso I've had in the US. No kidding! And the Iced Red Bean with melted hot dark chocolate was soooo good that I get mouth-watery every time I think about it.

My sister and I walked around the city just a day after I got here. We went to Mac store in Soho. I bought some stuff there and my sister got me 20% off since she's a student of a beauty school (well she actually has finished her classes already). Yay! Here are some pictures my sister took of me:

wearing: h&m striped shirt || only i wool jacket || h&m black shorts || h&m red tights || unbranded yellow jelly bag || slouchy boots i forgot where i got them from

on to the next one...

My old friend from college and her friends came to NYC on Thursday evening, so we spent the whole day yesterday. Strolling the streets of NYC along fifth avenue and Rockefeller Center, enjoying Central Park, having dinner at an Indonesian restaurant in midtown and blinding our eyes looking at bright billboards in Times Square. Here are some photos she took of me:

wearing: angie floral mini dress from century 21 || h&m black tights || soda gold flats from cutesy.com || thrifted brown leather jacket

looking at those pictures make me miss the photographer who used to take my pictures in jakarta.... *sigh*.

holler!

if there is a list of things to describe what a bad fashion blogger is about, i think i would certainly fit the list. yes, it has been ages since the last time i posted photos on this blog or did blog-walking. blame it on my hectic schedule nearing my departure. now that i am back in my little apartment in NYC (yes, i arrived yesterday morning after a 30 hour trip!), hopefully i can resume my blogging activities in full force. i really do miss reading your blogs.

i don't have any current photos yet. but i do have some photos from few weeks ago. i suppose it is better to post something that is not so new than nothing at all, right?! so, here we go:


getting my fifth tattoo (august 30th)

yes, i got my fifth tattoo. i've been wanting to do it for sometimes, but didn't have the chance until that day. so, i am so lucky to have a friend who is one of the best tattoo artists in Indonesia. he did the tattoo for free. yay!!!! here are some pictures of the day:

going to the studio:

wearing: tya et tiara black top with ruffled collar || thrifted jacket from closetquickies || unbranded shorts || eyelet shoes from toko dua amoi

the shoes are a gift from two lovely ladies, jeni a.k.a jenul and ruth a.k.a tje2p from toko dua amoi. i found out later on that the shoes are a knock-off of Pour La Victoire shoes. A great knock-off I must say, coz they look similar and they're so comfortable to wear. thanks to jenul dan tje2p. folks, please do check out their online store. if you're not in Indonesia but interested in getting a pair or two from them, feel free to email them with your inquiries.


here are some photos of the tattoo:

(yes, it hurts like hell getting your ankle bone tattooed!)

i only told my friend that i want a purple rose tattoo and i entirely gave the rest of the design to him. he didn't even make any sketch like many tattoo artists did. he drew it on my ankle right away using a marker and started tattooing. the last photo is the end result of the first round. yes, it isn't finished yet. it needs to be colored. we'll do the next session when i go to Jakarta again in few months. although it's only small, but the tattoo process took about three freakin' hours.
if any of you are interested in getting a tattoo or two, please do come to his studio. You can have a consultation first. You can also get a custom design by him. Take as much time as you want in deciding the design, it's free. He only charges the hours of the tattooing process. On the pricey side, but hey, it will stay on your body for the rest of your life, so don't go for a cheap one! You can check out his works here: Durga Tattoo.


the black and white evening

days following, i could only wear flip-flop due to the new tattoo. i finally able to wear shoes after a week. flats only. the ankle bone was still swallen and painful, hence heels were temporarily out. these second set of the outfit i worn when i got a call from Yeni Wahid, the daughter of the former president, Abdurrahman Wahid. She's an acquaintance and is getting married to my good friend from college. Anyway, she asked the photographer (who is also my house mate) to take pictures of them for publication purpose. Since she's a daughter of an important person and she's also making her way into the politic, many media want to cover their wedding plan. Instead of getting their pictures taken by all newspapers and magazines in the country one by one, they preferred to get their pictures taken by one photographer and then give the photos to any media that ask for some. So, I and my photographer friend went to her office to do the photo shoot.

I am not gonna put up their photos here, but here are some photos of me:

wearing: vintage dress from closetquickies || only i belt || wondershoe black and white shoes || unbranded bangles

So there are some news from me. Will be back with more. Hopefully soon!


P.S.: The bride-to-be asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. But the wedding is only a month away. A bit hard for me to go back to Jakarta that soon :(

twilight

bercakap-cakap dengan senja
katanya siang tak pernah mau menunggunya
dan malam selalu meninggalkannya
dan waktunya tak panjang
ia mati muda saban hari...


twilight spoke to me
she said the day never waits for her
and the night always leaves her
and her time is never long
she dies young every day...

wearing: only i snake print dress and belt || navid o nadia red pumps || unbranded bangles

folks, please do check out only i online store. i guarantee that you will ooh and aah to see her vintage items, vintage renewal and brand new pieces that she made. i did. and not just ooh and aah, i also ordered quite a few pieces and i can tell you that they were of good craftmanship. seriously, the cute girl (Cindy of diamondhurts) behind the label is a very talented person. you should also check her blog here. she's also nice. she handles her clients very personally and she even threw in some freebies in the package. woohooo!!!

short weekend...

...in shorts.

wearing: tya et tiara top || h&m shorts || forever 21 belt || bcbg sunglasses || unbranded polkadot wedges from a market in thailand

the aforementioned title really represents my feeling. i felt that the weekend was really short. before i knew it, it's already monday. just when i really was enjoying my weekend downtime, away from the craziness of weekdays works. yes, i've been really busy lately, on my last days in this country. i came here for work assignment around a year ago. now, a year passed and it's time for me to go back to NYC, a place where i've been residing for almost a decade. still have some work that i need to finish up before i leave and i also have to pack. the last one was the most depressing thing. after all the traveling i've done, i thought packing would be easier. but definitely not! packing is never easy. especially with my stuff scatters around the house. i came with two luggage. but in the course of a year, those two have multiplied rampantly. clothes, shoes, accessories, books, dvds, knickknacks. arghhh...i only have three weeks left, hopefully it's enough for me to stuff everything in my luggage.

but on top of everything, with the passing of a weekend means my time here is getting shorter. and that makes me sad. this place is where i hope i could live in but the circumstances are not on my side right now. someday, hopefully someday...

pablo neruda on polaroids...

those lines are from the last verse of Pablo Neruda's poem titled DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY. Here is the complete poem:

Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?




wearing: CBGB man t-shirt || nyla gray skirt || unbranded leopard print tights || forever 21 gray oxford shoes

this is actually the first time ever for me to wear leopard printed item. never have the gut before. but the tights are as far as I can go for now *grin*. thanks to sassy for encouraging me to wear leopard printed clothing :).

$26

Shorts: $4
Boybeater: $2
Shoes: $20
Fishnet stockings: Free, courtesy of Toko Dua Amoy (still got another freebies from them. can't wait to show them off :D )
Dream catcher inspired necklace: Free, courtesy of Only I

Feeling fabulous but cheap: priceless!

wearing: nevada shorts || lilu original white boybeater || custom made wedges || fishnet stockings from toko dua amoi || necklace from only i

Yesterday was my lil' sister's 1st wedding anniversary. Actually she wanted me to take her pre-wedding photos, but I was out of the US at the time. So, to make it up, we did a without-preparation 'trash the dress' photo session in two locations. One was at Five Point in Long Island City and the second one was in Central Park. The photo session took only around 4 hours for both locations (which were quite a distance from one another). Here are some of the photos I took:

To my sister and my brother in law: Happy first anniversary! I love you both.

jaded

Yes...I am feeling a little bit jaded lately. I've got tons of work, went to lots of events (mostly Queer Film Festival), hung out with friends and other supposedly fun activities. But I still feel jaded. Not sure why.

Anyways, beside getting my photos taken, I also like to take photos. Photography has been my passion since I was in college and tho' I decided not to pursue it as a profession but I did have some of my photos published in international magazines and national newspaper. But that was waaaay back then, when DSLR cameras were not on the scene yet. Now, it was just my hobby that sometimes I pick up but sometimes I leave out. Depending on my mood, really. But when I feel down or bored or sad, I would just pack up my stuff and go on a trip and take photos. It would make me feel better. Really, I find solace in taking photos.

Here are some photos I took:

While I am at it, here are som photos of I what I wore last weekend:

wearing: h&m striped top || unbranded red skirt || black socks (forgot where from) || kenzie brown wedges

ooo....how i wish I knew how to pose....